"A Violent Embrace"
From notes dating 2/11/2023
"Pity is aroused by unmerited misfortune, fear by the misfortune of (those) like ourselves"
- Aristotle, Poetics
I am not like so many painters today.
Content creators.
Professional craftsmen who skillfully design paintings of childhood innocence.
The family pet.
The lonely woman by the balcony.
The boat at the dock.
I even stumble when depicting things I love.
The sea.
The sky.
Sunsets.
The reason is that creativity for me was never about becoming professional. Creativity for me has always been a coping mechanism, (with the exception of) early childhood, when it was fun. It was a way to play, entertain.
I admire painters who can passionately paint everyday life in a beautiful manner.
I only appear to be painting within my own skin when I'm painting violence.
I only feel like I'm painting within my own skin when I'm painting violence.
(side note) Human beings, great apes, bottlenose dolphins, orcas, elephants, and Eurasian magpies are the Earthly creatures that are known to engage in torture.
When I was very young, I learned how violent and cruel the world I lived in was. It frightened me to the core of my soul then, and now. To this day.
As I struggled for a way to control my deep seeded fears, I felt that if I could depict it, I could control it. I could face it.
Something unexpected happened when I embraced violence... violence embraced my creativity.
A Faustian deal was struck between myself and my fears.
Somehow, the more violence I depict, the more genuine my work is.
This may at times be a consequence of depicting tragedies in the Aristotelian sense, as we humans respond to tragedy with empathy, and few things are more tragic than violence done upon the undeserving.
From notes dating 2/11/2023
"Pity is aroused by unmerited misfortune, fear by the misfortune of (those) like ourselves"
- Aristotle, Poetics
I am not like so many painters today.
Content creators.
Professional craftsmen who skillfully design paintings of childhood innocence.
The family pet.
The lonely woman by the balcony.
The boat at the dock.
I even stumble when depicting things I love.
The sea.
The sky.
Sunsets.
The reason is that creativity for me was never about becoming professional. Creativity for me has always been a coping mechanism, (with the exception of) early childhood, when it was fun. It was a way to play, entertain.
I admire painters who can passionately paint everyday life in a beautiful manner.
I only appear to be painting within my own skin when I'm painting violence.
I only feel like I'm painting within my own skin when I'm painting violence.
(side note) Human beings, great apes, bottlenose dolphins, orcas, elephants, and Eurasian magpies are the Earthly creatures that are known to engage in torture.
When I was very young, I learned how violent and cruel the world I lived in was. It frightened me to the core of my soul then, and now. To this day.
As I struggled for a way to control my deep seeded fears, I felt that if I could depict it, I could control it. I could face it.
Something unexpected happened when I embraced violence... violence embraced my creativity.
A Faustian deal was struck between myself and my fears.
Somehow, the more violence I depict, the more genuine my work is.
This may at times be a consequence of depicting tragedies in the Aristotelian sense, as we humans respond to tragedy with empathy, and few things are more tragic than violence done upon the undeserving.